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婚姻幽默 笑一笑
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婚姻幽默  每天都要笑一笑
 
 
Ironic & funny!

辛辣寫實又爆笑!

"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."

如果有人搶了你的老婆,最好的報復就是讓他留著

           Lee Majors (美國電影明星 - .梅爾)

"After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay" together.

結婚後夫妻就像一個硬幣的兩面;他們不但不能面對面,而且還分不開。


           Al Gore (克林頓當總統時的副總統 - 阿爾戈爾)

"By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."

不管怎麼樣,還是結婚的好。如果你找到一個好太太,你會很幸福。假如你找到一個壞的,你會成為一個哲學家


       Socrates (古希臘的思想家、哲學家,教育家 - 蘇格拉底)

"Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them."

女人給了男人做大事的激勵和靈感,同時又給了男人完成大事的阻力。


               Mike Tyson (前美國拳王 - 麥克.泰森)

"The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"

有一個好問題我總是沒答案;那就是 女人到底想要什麼?


            George Clooney (美國著名演員 - 喬治克魯尼)

"I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me."

我跟我太太才說了幾個字,她卻回了我一段長篇大論。


               Bill Clinton (美國前總統- 比爾.克林頓)

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

有人問我婚姻能維持這麼長的秘密。我們每個星期去餐館兩次。晚餐有燭光,音樂,和跳舞。她星期二去,我星期五去。


               George W. Bush (美國前總統 - 小布希)

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

我不怕恐怖分子。我已經結婚兩年了。


      Rudy Giuliani (前紐約市911事件時的市長 - 魯迪.朱利安尼)

"Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up."

有兩個秘密能讓你的婚姻圓滿:


1. 
當你錯時,馬上認錯。

2. 
當你對時,閉上嘴巴。

                                Shaquille O’Neal (美國籃球巨星 - 沙奎爾.奧尼爾)

"The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once..."

最有效的方法記住你太太的生日就是先忘掉一次。


                   Kobe Bryant (美國籃球巨星 - 科比布萊恩特)

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."

我太太和我都高高興興的過了二十年,然後我們相遇了。


                   Alec Baldwin (美國電影明星 - 亞歷克.鮑德溫)

"A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."

一個好太太當她是錯的時候總是原諒她的丈夫。


           Barack Obama (美國總統- 歐巴馬)

"Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy."

婚姻是唯一的敵我睡在一張床上的戰爭。


           Tommy Lee (美國老牌電影明星 - 湯米.)

"First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

有個人驕傲的說:我的太太是天使!


另一個聽到的人說:你真幸運!我的還活著!


       Jimmy Kimmel (美國著名電視節目主持人- 吉米.金米爾)


“Honey, what happened to ‘ladies first’?” Husband replies, “That’s the reason why the world’s a mess today, because a lady went first!”

親愛的,女士優先又怎麼了? 丈夫回答說,今天世界亂成這個樣子就是因為有女的先來了!


       David Letterman (美國電視著名脫口秀主持人 - 大衛.萊特曼)

SEND THIS TO FRIENDS TO GIVE THEM A GOOD LAUGH......AND TO THOSE LADIES WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR WHO CAN HANDLE IT!

送給你的朋友,以及那些有幽默感的女士,讓他們開懷一笑!